dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize