As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
