Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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