he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
