What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
