Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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