respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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