I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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