The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
