You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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