I wanna bring you to show and tell
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
