Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
