We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?