i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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