Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
