I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
