I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
