I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
