I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
