I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
