I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
