it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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