i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
