Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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