I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
