Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
