I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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