Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
