dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
