Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I had to cum in my sink.
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