Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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