Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Define "chronic" masturbator.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
