Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
