did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
