so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
