then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize