that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Are my feet made of real feet?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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