I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
