you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I forget how to act sober
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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