I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
