Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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