does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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