I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
