I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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