i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
