it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
