how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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