my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
