I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he thought i was a dude.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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