sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
