I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
