ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
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oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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