So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
