"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
