32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
