i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
