i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
