Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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