i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
