I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
